Sometimes I can’t sleep. Or rather, I can’t go back to sleep. This has been a constant theme in my life for a couple of years, and this morning, I realized it’s a problem I need to address.
Quick math estimates roughly 30 to 60 million adults develop chronic insomnia in the US alone; this is based on several online sources that say roughly 10% of adults develop chronic insomnia, while a couple of research papers point to Manifestations and Management of Chronic Insomnia in Adults, which says “Approximately 40 to 70 million Americans are affected by either intermittent or chronic sleep problems, representing approximately 20 percent of the population.”
Most people usually fall asleep later than they should. This YouTube video from Health Triage speaks about an experiment where it was found that a group of people without technology and other modern interruptions would go to sleep before 10 PM, getting about 7.5 hours of sleep; this is in contrast to the little over 5.5 hours of sleep people in the US get, on average.
I counted at least six posts in this blog discussing lack of sleep. My journal and personal notes triple this number easily. On average, I have one sleep-deprived day a week, often two. Because it happens so often, I’ve also developed an unhealthy habit of “forced” sleep when I wake up because I know what lack of sleep leads to. This doesn’t help.
Being sleep-deprived sucks. I start my day at the same hour, but pretty soon (an hour or so), I hit a mental “soft cotton” cushion, which makes everything murky and slow. My lack of motivation to tackle projects, which is already lacking in general due to what falls under the umbrella of ADHD (interesting take in this study), turns into active resistance. For example, I need to argue with myself for 10 minutes just to be able to open an email.
In addition, I become more irritated by sudden noises or bright lights (similar effect to having a hangover). I avoid communicating with people and want to be left alone (being “grumpy”). Besides being rude toward people close to me, this also affects my ability to communicate at work. If I push myself (which I must), I often forget facts, misspell or mispronounce words, or even blank out mid-thought. Besides work and personal connections, I also don’t exercise or go for walks when I don’t sleep (I often exercise as soon as I wake up from a nap though), which in turn makes me feel lazy and guilty, another life “feature” I struggle with more often than not.
Because of the negative effects and how long this has been going on (the definition of chronic insomnia, for example, calls for at least three months of continuous issues; I’m probably somewhere in the 2-year mark at least), this is something I need to address head-on. I can’t just keep venting about it and hope it will disappear.
I’m aware of CBT treatment (some of this I’ve been doing with therapists) and sleep hygiene, the latter of which I don’t do well enough. I’m capable of falling asleep pretty fast, thankfully, and I should go to bed earlier, but I don’t. This is probably the first thing I should start doing immediately.
Other sleep hygiene-related things include drinking non-caffeinated tea at around 19:00 as a symbol (the last drink of the day) and possibly as a placebo. I should exercise at noon instead of afternoons (mornings are too busy) and finish by meditating for longer periods. Living in NYC means noises from inconsiderate jerks can and will happen (fireworks, motorcyclists revering their engines, construction noises), but I found that I can fall asleep despite those most of the time.
I’m also going to seek out a “sleep doctor” who might help me shed more light on this problem. Possibly looking into some homeopathic medicine as well, as it usually comes without side effects. For now, I’m going to try to nap… and edit this post when I wake up.
I feel much better now after a nap. Napping is not always an option, and it doesn’t always work. I’ve had days when I napped twice, even three times throughout the day. It’s a skill I’m developing (I keep waking up and convincing myself back into sleep if I can).
The research I did earlier into sleep centers did not yield good results. The few places I found have bad reviews. Generally, I’m trying not to look for a therapist for help since this is an option I’ve applied in the past a couple of times, and I know more or less where it leads.
This is one of those things I have to take the long-term approach, mixed with other areas of my life. Sleep hygiene should be a routine that ties into exercise, eating, and even social habits. On my wiki, sleep is one of the four elements of life, even though I still need to put that article up.