Even though I say a lot here, I don’t say everything. Mainly, there are two topics I avoid: the Israel-Hammas-Palestinian situation, and non-monogamy/polyamory.

It’s probably not hard to guess why, but these are also two deeply personal topics. For one, I was born and raised in Israel and served in the IDF; for the other, I’ve been with my two partners for over 12 years and I still see other people/friends/partners (I don’t exactly separate them to categories like most folks do).

To put in other words, if I write something about these topics, I’m really going to put myself out there. I’m not sure I want to deal with this level of vulnerability. I go back and forth at least once a week, and often I write a post just to keep it as a draft folder and not touch it again.

But there’s the need to express myself - this is my blog after all - and these are big two areas of self-expression. I know that vulnerability leads to some of the best blog posts I’ve read (I admire Brandon for that reason, and Jack also has some personal nuggets here and there), as these are the writings that make a personal blog truly personal.

I dared myself a couple of times before. Even my About section explains what I don’t write about yet. I’m not sure it’s the criticism I’m worried about as much as I just want to keep some things to myself and to the people I write about.

I’ve also made such a big deal out of writing about these topics that I don’t know what to write first or where to start, as it doesn’t match up to the spectacular image I built in my mind. After all, it’s just me rambling away about my life, and no one will deem it as important as I do. Kevin said it well: “If there’s ever a place where I can be narcissistic on the internet, it’s my site.”

Yet another reason I’m hesitant is that there’s no going back. Once I say something, it’s out there (and this blog is linked to the Internet Archive through Micro.blog). It’s not mine anymore, it’s everyone else’s. And if it’s your personal life you put out there to become everyone else’s, yeah, that’s scary.

On the other hand, there’s so much to say. There are things other people should know, ideas worth sharing, friends worth making, and writing worth publishing. And around we go, back into the “yes? no? yes? maybe? yes? no?” cycle.