Not caring is caring
The last time I scanned the news was in the AP app on my Android two days ago. I gave it about two seconds before I swiped it away and out of my mind. I’ve been doing this for the last week, and I’ve been feeling good. Then the guilt came in hitting me like a hammer a second later.
Can I really disconnect? Now? Can I really not care? If I’m honest with myself, I’ve already been doing that. The week of the elections I barely checked the news, and then the night off I was glued to it feeling more like a sack of shit by the minute. Now I’m back to being peaceful, more or less. For me, there are two dimensions to this: I’ve also been following closely the news from Israel, and I stopped doing that as well.
It’s depressing. All of it. It makes me angry. It wastes my energy. Instead of, say, sitting down and enjoying my cup of coffee and writing on this blog, I’m shaking my fist at the farts of other men. Screw that.
The same guilt I described earlier was part of the reason it took me so long to stop subscribing to the New York Times. I hated hearing about the clown in chief, as I called him then (and will again now), but I made myself so I stay informed. Well, I reached my limit of worrying about shit I can’t do much about besides being angry.
Once I made peace with my decision, I realized I was not alone. I liked what Patrick did, for example: “I’m thinking the solution to breaking (broken) news is to do my best to avoid it and, instead, subscribe to two printed sources with a track record of good journalism,” he wrote. Why two? Well, he answers that, so go read it and the comments; there is some good stuff there. To my point here, though, reading something good instead of the themed paranoia the New York Times kept injecting me with is a good idea. I think I’ll do that.
Also, I’m not giving up on caring in general. Kind of the opposite, actually. The other day, I talked to my overly concerned sister for an hour after chatting with NK, who is trying to avoid their larger (and Republican) family circle. Nat is in a similar mindset, and giving them more affection these days feels good, as do other people in my life.
My circle of intimate friends all reach out to each other now more than before. It fills me with positive energy. There are more hugs, physical and virtual. We’re here, together in this. We’ll endure and move on. And if we need to be active about something we will do it. But until that time comes, let’s just conserve our batteries and enjoy some peace of mind. Isn’t that why we get angry in the first place?