Does anyone like hospitals?

You’re usually there when something bad happens. Even if it’s good, it’s wrapped in worries. Other people lie in beds in vurnabale states, all wearing the same thing. There’s this hospital smell and the silence you don’t like, but it’s better than the alternative. I don’t think it’s ever a good thing.

Yesterday was my second hospital visit this month. Everything’s fine, which may be why I feel I should write something while I come up to get air.

Micro.blog was swept by an emotional storm that surprised me. For a while, I sat there shaking my head and reading. Eventually, everything just became a bunch of loud virtual yelling that stopped making sense, so I went away to deal with my own shit, of which I have had plenty in the last few weeks. Seeing that it quieted down a bit, I think maybe it’s time to bring up a couple of general tips I found. I don’t think it can do any harm, but I can’t be sure. Someone will find a way, probably.

First, 300 characters or so is not enough to discuss complicated topics. It’s not enough to discuss anything, really, but certainly not the kind of subject I’ve seen floating around this week. Manue helped me realize this was the main part of the problem. We exchanged a few emails since, and I’m with him on this topic: if you want to say something, write it down in length, from one person to another. Don’t make a stage out of it. Another good piece that started showing on my feed (I don’t remember where I saw it first, so I can’t give credit) was “how to comment on social media,” which you should read with your sarcasm hat on, and hopefully get a laugh or two out of as well as a cringe.

I do use social media often - this is how most of you found this post. But I usually use it for short summaries of longer discussions that link back here. These days, even short questions that fit fully into a post over Mastodon come from this blog. This is one of the core things about Micro.blog. This also brings me to the next important point. Create the content on your own website, and then put it on someone else’s broadcasting machine. You don’t know what they’d do with it, and you can trust them to save it for you. Things get lost, twisted, grow teeth and bite you in the ass and then run away. Own what you say, both as a person and as a writer. This allows you to make mistakes, which you also own, and then the resolution of these mistakes is also yours.

Eventually, things will get out of hand. You’ll get upset and want to plunk that loudspeaker off the hook on the wall and give everyone a piece of your mind. But you know you shouldn’t. As soon as you feel the first “WHAP!” of someone else’s whip on social media, you have a chance to be better. Stop the lashing. Take a break. Relax. If you have your corner on the web, there’s no need to explain anything to anyone. You will respond (if at all) when you damn feel like it. And when you do, you will do it on your terms, like a conversationalist, not like a raging bull.

And this will also fail eventually. If it’s too late and the mob with the pitchforks is at your door, there are some well-tested ways to resolve disputes. (this is just one place I found with a good summary; there are many others). In short, get a mediator or an abbreviator (judge).

This will also eventually fail, and you will lash out. It’s OK. You are huamn too, a flawed mess like the rest of us. Don’t respond, and don’t defend yourself. It’s wasted energy: at this point, you’re already a monster (or fascist, or racist, or whatever the kids use these days) to the mob, and it doesn’t matter what you do. Apologize to those you care to apologize to and own your mistake (see above). Be quick about it, be polite and to the point, and move the fuck on. You have better things to do.

Who am I to be telling you these things? No one. I’m not better than anyone else. I’m just another meat bag, to quote one AI bot in a popular weather app. And this is my blog, so if you don’t like it, don’t waste your time and go somewhere else you’d enjoy more.

Now, where was I? Hospitals? Yeesh, I was yapping too long, and I barely scratched the surface of everything else going on in my life that I want to blog about. But it’s also 4 a.m. (at least when I write the draft), and I should get back to bed to get some more sleep.

If you want to say something about this, go ahead. But if you want to talk about this, email me.