The Art Of Not Asking Why

I couldn’t sleep last night, and now I’m about 20% in. I can see this book is going to be tough. Trauma that ties into military service, LGBTQ issues, and a postapocalyptic world with some supernatural elements. Glad I picked it up. The Last Girl Scout by Natalie Ironside 📚#books #scifi

I’m just finishing episode two, and I am really enjoying myself. The story so far is interesting, the characters are memorable, and if you enjoyed the series, this is definitely a nice perk. The only issue I have with the game so far is the graphics - it could have been much better, especially the textures. Maybe this game was rushed.

I’m exploring options for remote desktop (Mac to Linux) again.

VNC is good once you get it to work fully; I have issues with sound and my VPN and don’t have the time to mess with it right now. I tried Open Box (I think that was the name?) before. Uninstalling it is a pain, as it leaves a lot of configurations deep in your system, which is what I’m worried will happen with RustDesk - a recommendation I got from several folks before.

What do folks use these days?

Trainer, formally known as CoPilot (they could have just said Microsoft was planning to sue them; no one likes Microsoft as a company - but I digress), is an investment. It’s also one of the most significant apps I’ve ever purchased.

It’s an exercise app that connects you with a personal coach that builds a workout program for you. You and the coach keep chatting and meeting virtually to discuss progress and adjust exercises, which keep increasing in difficulty by predetermined “cycles.” The coach can also show you how to do certain exercises, watch your recordings to do your own routine and give you tips, etc.

I’ve been exercising with Trainer for almost a year, 4-5 times a week, for about 30-40 minutes each time. My training sessions include weight lifting, flexibility, yoga, running, and even meditation, which I asked my coach to include. The Apple watch has been a great addition as well; the phone shows me a video of the exercise I’m doing and plays instructions using my coach’s voice while the watch “boosts” the app’s intelligence and so it knows to slow me down or speed me up, automatically detect when I’m done a set, and remind me to send feedback to my coach.

At 100$ a month, the app is not cheap, but that’s about the price you’d pay for a personal coach to work with you for an hour at a gym. It’s not the same, true, but for me, it strikes the right balance I need to exercise independently and have the motivation to keep going. It also records what I do. Seeing the progress month to month is critical when you try to get back into a lifestyle like this.

This is easily the best exercise routine I’ve had in a long time. It inspired me to try a meditation app as well (meditation is another area I need to move forward in), but so far, Headspace is not exactly working out. A bit more exploration is needed in this area.

One of the things I like about living in NYC is that Pride is everywhere. Even though it’s somewhat over the top (more of a brand and marketing thing than what it is supposed to be), the fact that it’s important enough to be a brand is important in itself. 📷

Adobe sucks, so why do I keep getting back to Photoshop?

I like GIMP. It’s an amazing piece of free software. It comes with tools like Intelligent Scissors that allow you to easily draw a selection around your subject, much like the Quick Selection tool in Photoshop. GIMP also has Foreground Select, which roughly compares to Object Selection in Photoshop. Even the useful Content-Aware fill in Photoshop exists as a plugin in GIMP.

The problem is that all of these come with a learning gap.

Intelligent Scissors only works with good contrast, and even then, the official documentation suggests using masking tools. You need to have a good concept of these two terms first. The Foreground Select tool is a confusing multi-step process that’s hard to follow and requires me to follow a video explanation somewhere else several times. The Content-Aware plugin for GIMP is an abandoned project that hasn’t been updated to work with the more recent versions of the software, and its installation documentation on Linux requires more research on installing old libraries and Python.

Meanwhile, Photoshop’s help is very effective: short videos whenever you hover over a tool to tell you what it does, complete with the keyboard shortcut if you have one set up. There are video tutorials from the company, not to mention many professional folks who create tutorials. GIMP has one or two people worth following on YouTube, which couldn’t supply the help I needed. It’s a complaint I had before about Darktable, which eventually got me to switch to Lightroom.

As a technical writer who needs to explain tech stuff to people daily, I believe documentation is one of the areas free software suffers from the most. There’s usually a small crew of basement geniuses who write out an amazing tool, but their documentation amounts to technical jargon on Github which means nothing to others. These people write tools for themselves, not for others to use.

I understand the problem. A person who writes a program for free doesn’t have the time and resources (or the experience necessarily) to also write instructions. The same is true at my job: the techies tech, the communicators communicate. The importance of the latter is not often obvious. But if you invent a time machine, and you’re the only person who knows how to use it, does it really matter? If a tree falls in the forest…

And yet there would be that person who would read this post and think help is just a Google Duck Duck Go search away. They will find five or six results and link them to this post, suggesting help is just a quick search away. It is not, not for me. Think about it: what is more likely, that I searched and still couldn’t figure it out, or that I didn’t bother to search to begin with?

The gap exists. Those in the know are so used to jumping over it they don’t even notice it’s there anymore. I know because I do the same thing to others all the time.

I’m grumpy and tired, and when I sit down to work on something, I don’t always want to invest a couple of days' worth of research just to get a certain thing to work. When it has to do with free software, there are a few places things work, and that’s because there’s a community around those who can explain and document things to others. Take Emacs for example. When I started, it was this video by an ordinary guy who explained what the software does in an ordinary way that got me hooked. This dude spoke a language I could understand.

This is why Adobe wins me over time and time again. Their software is good but far from amazing. The company, as an entity, is shit. The privacy factor, which I care for, does not exist. But I can learn it and use it without investing a week’s worth of research on old posts in forums, Github, and Linux chat rooms.

Started reading: The Last Girl Scout by Natalie Ironside 📚 Decided to get this after reading a sample. Good, solid writing and an interesting story so far.

Yesterday I walked into the park and sat on a tree trunk I found years ago. I sat on it as I did back then, letting my mind drift, surrounded by the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind, enjoying my lunch.

The picture 📷 is from nearby, turned into a watercolor painting with AI and Photoshop.

It’s over 90 with humidity over 60% for the last couple of days and I stayed mostly indoors. Today, there’s a nice breeze coming through, and it seems like it’s going to be the best day of the week. Tried to get myself running but I don’t have it in me. A walk then, with some pictures.

When Brandon wrote that he blogs about blogging too much, I bookmarked the post with my Micro.blog service so I don’t forget to reply and went back to read through my RSS list. The next day, Kevin wrote his response, and I wanted to get back to it, but I was in the middle of writing a different post. When I finally got to it Friday, I felt I should contact him before publishing it.

The more I write, the more ideas I have, the more I want to write, the better it all feels. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s a form of addiction. Maybe it is, just not a bad one. Kind of like coffee in the morning. Oh, I should write about this too.

In a nutshell, this is pretty much my writing process these days. There’s always something to write, a quick note to share, or another post to reply to. But let’s get back to Brandon.

I’ve been following Brandon for a while, and I suspect his worries are affected by a bit of harsh self-judgment. He is (and I’m writing this with respect and care) a bit hard on himself at times. You can tell because he says so right at the start: “I didn’t realize how much of a problem it was.” So, for Brandon, this is a Problem. But is it? We all get self-conscious sometimes: I just deleted my first three paragraphs because of similar reasons, but I’m also trying to get the point across.

According to Kevin, blogging about blogging is not really an issue. But that’s Kevin. The guy writes with confidence and projects confidence. When someone criticized him lately for being narcissistic for creating a randomized watch selection mechanism in his blog for the world to see, he told them to get back under their bridge. Kevin will tell you what he thinks because that’s why you’re reading his blog. I agree.

And then there is Jack and his blogs (Jack, if you’re reading this, this might be a good name for another blog to write about the other ones you have 😉). The man goes back and forth between platforms every week. Jack’s not really hard on himself (though I get the feeling this is starting to drain him), nor is he confident about how much he writes about his blogs. It’s just something he does. Jack’s reaction would probably be a picture of himself shrugging - in black and white, of course.

I know these three bloggers as my buddies because, among other things, they blog about blogging.

Writing is deeply personal, so writing about writing (or blogging about blogging) is writing about who you are. It’s a topic any blogger would blog about at one point or another because that’s what bloggers do. They blog.

Since blogging is a hobby, I enjoy reading about other bloggers and how they write because I’m a blogger, as Kevin said. I understand Brandon might feel self-conscious, but that self-consciousness is why I like his blog: that’s him.

So, Brandon, please feel free to keep writing about blogging!

And here’s an idea, something I used to do on my wiki: a log, much like version release notes. That’s where I wrote the more technical details of what’s going on for those interested, and those who don’t care just stay out of it. These days I use this less and include things here, though I could create a category for it if I wrote about it enough… oh, here’s another idea to explore, let me add this to the list.

One does not simply quit Google - If you’re not a techie. Sure, you can use Firefox and switch to Duck Duck Go like 90% of the folks who “quit” Google and call it a day, but that’s not doing much.

Lifehacker has the right idea here, interviewing Janet Vertesi. The first big problem is, as she says, “You don’t jump out of the frying pan into someone else’s frying pan,” yet that’s the only option most folks have: switching from Android to iPhone. It’s just another company that owns all your data.

Installing a custom ROM on an Android device is not something most people can do (or keep living with), and even that is only the beginning. Your cell phone number belongs to your carrier, which has you on file along with your address and credit card. It’s just another pan. Even if you get over that, say by paying cash for a cheaper phone every month, you still need to figure out how to get Android apps working on a device without Google’s framework underneath. For the non-techies, it quickly gets overly complicated and non-functional.

As this article points out, sometimes you can’t quit Google services even if you want to. For example, if your work is tied to Google products, you don’t have much choice.

The point is, it’s not easy. There aren’t good alternatives. And I don’t think articles titled “How to Quit Google” help much.

7 Reasons Why We Fall for Fake News

This has been in my bookmarks for a bit. I wanted to dig more into the research, and the post got lost somewhere after I tried to get a psychology textbook.

The article is layered out well and provides some interesting sources (hence the book I still want to get):

1. Confirmation bias: information that confirms our existing beliefs. Breaking out of the circle is hard.
2. Lack of credibility evaluation: we believe our news without checking it (ties to 4).
3. Attention and impatience: We read information fast and fall for “hooks” without understanding the whole.
4. We are cognitively lazy: Our brains have evolved to conserve energy (ties to 2).
5. Our emotions are targeted: emotions make thinking irrational.
6. Reiteration: the illusory truth effect: the more we are exposed to certain information, the more we are likely to believe that information.
7. Social pressure: need I explain this one?

This is the same author who wrote 10 Ways to Spot Fake News, which is another good read.

US sues Adobe for hiding termination fees and making it difficult to cancel subscriptions | TechCrunch

So not only do you get tricked and opt into paying every month, you also can’t get out without paying for a penalty:

The government says Adobe pushed consumers toward the “annual paid monthly” subscription without informing them that canceling the plan in the first year would cost hundreds of dollars.

I’ve been using GIMP on and off, but it’s just not there.

When I was 19, I went back to Israel to serve in the IDF. I was required by law in Israel, but I also wanted to go back and get away from what I felt was too much of a constraining life in the US with my mom, my sister, and my stepdad.

I don’t remember much of my time in the army. There are days I don’t even remember my personal number. Other days, like yesterday, I wake up from a nap and that number is on my lips as if I just used it to identify myself at the base’s gate.

in the IDF, My medical profile as Israelis call it meant that I wasn’t allowed to be in the infantry. I wanted to change that, so I went to see a doctor to get a permit to serve in a combat unit, even if it meant being a part of a tank crew or operating artillery (these places require somewhat of a less-than-pristine medical profile), but the doctor found that my situation (it was my eyes) was even worse than I knew, and my medical profile went down even lower.

That didn’t mean I didn’t go through boot camp, get a rifle, learn how to shoot, and realize that I developed the ability to fall asleep standing. Another part of every soldier’s job in the IDF (at least the last time I checked) is guard duty. You can’t get out of it, no matter what. Every couple of weekends, I had to pass a weekend at my home base and guard it.

One time, toward the end of my service, I was sent to guard in a remote base near the “shtahim” (שטחים) - the Palestinian territories. This base was on a higher alert than my home base, accessible only by military vehicles. It was known as a place that was usually reserved for long guard duties for disciplinary punishments, and it was not a place I should have been to, given my training. The army being the army however, things like this happen. I learned early on when I could argue my way out of something and when I couldn’t, and this was one of the couldn’ts.

They were as surprised to have me as I was surprised to be there. I was a “jobnick” - an IDF slang term meant that I was doing the army as a day job, meaning, 9 to 5, and going home every night, which was more or less true. A jobnick is not someone you’d send to guard a bunker with ammunition alone, but well, there I was, and it was too late for them to ask for someone else and for me to try and argue anyway.

There was this isolated watch tower standing on a hill. The hill was artificial: it was the top of the bunker. The watch tower was made of reinforced metal of sorts (not sure it was steel though), bulletproof glass, and graffiti. Lots and lots of graffiti. There’s a lot that goes in your head when you guard alone and watch the silent hills around you for three hours, and much of that was described in the graffiti, as well as phone numbers, a frequency for “quick relief” to tune into, horrible poetry, and even worse drawings of human anatomy. Among the graffiti and the many tick marks that decorated the walls, there was also the IDF’s rules of engagement (sorry, no English translation available - the English page leads to something else), which I was refreshed on quickly before it was my turn to guard.

I was to guard until sunset, an overall period of three hours. I was alone and I needed to be alert and awake which wasn’t easy, but I somehow managed.

Toward the evening, as the shadows started to get longer, I heard a noise that pierced the silence around me because it was too close. It was the gravel below me on top of the bunker hill. I looked down and saw a figure sneaking about. I remember trying to convince myself that someone was playing pranks on me, but a prank is a prank, and this was not the place or the time.

You don’t get scared when something like this happens. There’s no time for that to happen. Andrelanine is rushing through you and all you hear is your heart pumping through your chest and into your ears.

“Who’s there,” I barely mumbled in Hebrew and then louder: “Stop!” - But they didn’t.

There were a few more steps I was supposed to go through: I should have called that person to stop again and ask for a passphrase, but I was never given one. There was no time either because that person was coming right toward me, not exactly sneaking anymore. I reached for my magazine and hoped to god that the rifles I was given, unlike my own rifle which was doubtfully functional, would work. Shooting was not something I’ve done for a while in the service, and when I did it was only in a firing range.

“Wakaf en la Btoohak!” I yelled, which roughly should translate to “stop or I shoot!” in Arabic (not that I remember - now or then) - part of the procedure. I had my gun in hand, aimed at the sky outside of the tower. I was supposed to shoot a warning shot first, but I wasn’t sure I had the time. Rules are important, but also, fuck the rules.

Fortunately for me (and for him, though he didn’t believe I was serious) it was my commanding officer. “Relax, it’s just me,” he said, and I was able to breathe. I didn’t care about anything at that moment besides that everything was OK again. He was happy to see that I wasn’t asleep, and I was happy to, well, not be dead, or kidnapped, which would have been worse¹. Many things could have happened instead, mostly pretty grim. This officer, needless to say, shouldn’t have done what he did, but he did. I shouldn’t have been there, and definitely not alone, but well, I was. Luckily for both of us, he identified himself when he did. I don’t want to think what would have happened if he waited 10 more seconds or so.

I don’t know why I felt I had to write about this experience. I feel like my reasons will reveal themselves slowly in the next couple of days. What I can say for now is that sometimes what you’re supposed to do and what you actually do are two very different things. You can’t think because thinking is switched off, as if someone just cut the wire to your brain and your muscles respond on their own. I want to emphasize something here: This is not about bravery or cowardliness. There’s no honor, discipline, or any other thing associated with good or evil in a situation like that. It’s just on or off. 1 or 0.

My life here in the US is very different than it ever was there, in the IDF. I’m sure this is also true for those who served in the military here. I am happy to be here, in the US, and I’m very grateful for the life I have today. I want to say I worked for what I have, which is true, but I am also a lucky SOB, whether I admit it or not, and this is just one of the stories to prove it.

¹ - The worst fear of any soldier in the IDF is to get kidnapped by a Palestinian militant group. For these groups, kidnapping soldiers is the best bargaining chip they have with Israel. The soldiers can be unheard of for years - decades even - and are negotiated for many prisoners. One of the most famous cases (besides obviously the current situation in Gaza) is probably that of Gilad Shalit, who was still in captivity when I was in the army.

Finished reading: The SIGMA Surrogate by Jt Lawrence 📚

I enjoyed this book, though it failed to keep me invested enough to read the next one in the series. I might later. Jt Lawrence introduced me to a new style that I’d like to explore more: light-erotica cyberpunk from a woman’s perspective